april*michelle

1 down, 4 to go...

2009-12-31T19:42:00.004-05:00

"By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands — your own." --Mark Victor Hansen

Last year about this time I set goals for my life that I wished to accomplish in the next 5 years. In May of last year, I finally put them on paper (or weblog) as a way to "make them real" and to keep track of them. Now that a year has gone by, I wanted to see what type of progress I've made on those goals... For those that missed the original post, Click here

-Goal #1 was to obtain my master's degree; as of September 1st, 2009, I was accepted and became officially enrolled into the University of Nebraska's Distance Learning Masters of Physician Assistant Program. So goal 1, ...progress made!

-Goal #2 was to become an active member of both my church community as well as my residential community.; church community - check! I joined the health ministry, though it seems nothing much has come of it thus far :-/... I'm still working on it! I've done some little things here and there that's really hard to quantitate, so its coming along. The community thing however -- a no go! But hey, I have 4 more years right?!

-Goal #3 was to establish a regular exercise regimen and healthy lifestyle; As my twitter friends would say, #fail. I'm so trying. I have the desire and watching the Biggest Loser has encouraged me a lot, but finding the time with my 12hr work days is difficult. I'll try harder!

-Goal #4 was to buy my own house; this one I sorta put on hold for now... still wanna do it, but wanna do it differently than before... let's just leave it at that for now. Maybe I'll explain later.

-Goal #5 was the most ambitious, to pay off all my undergraduate and graduate/professional school loans; I knew this was a big undertaking when I first thought of it, but didn't realize how difficult it would be. Plus, no one counted on the recession to have such drastic and lasting effects. However, when I totaled up the numbers, I did reduce the owed amount by 8.61%! Not the 20% I'd hope for, but not too shabby. Oh, and I did pay off and get the title to my car... so that makes up the other missing percentage in my book!

If I had to grade myself on progress so far, I'd give me a C+. (We are our toughest critic!) ...What grade would you give me?

Remembering 2009...

2009-12-31T19:03:00.003-05:00

The year I started my very first job in my new career -- a roller coaster of triumph and struggle with it, but in the end I've learned so much. Not just about medicine, but also about me. * The year I found love -- or should I say love found me. Though it was there all along, it took 2009 for it to manifest and it has been great thus far... It makes me think of the saying "God's timing is not our timing". So true! My timing would have been 3-4 years ago, but would it have been the same?! I'm sooooooooooo not the person I was then and am happy about that. I'm better, much better! And God, well, he knew what he was doing! Can't wait to live out the rest of the story! * The year I would lose control. I'm not happy at all the blow ups I've had at work and I ask for forgiveness of any disrespect that was felt and for the mishandling of my tone -- but please believe, I meant what I said!!! Just meant it in a nicer tone :o) * The year I vowed to forget the hurts of the past, and move forward. I forgive everyone of any wrong they did towards me and I ask you to forgive me of anything I did to hurt you. * 2009, thank you for all the lessons learned! So excited about 2010...

Somebody In Here, It's Your Birthday!!!

2009-10-08T17:02:00.004-05:00

HAPPY BiRTHDAY to ME!!!!!!!!!

I Need Suggestions!!!

2009-09-23T00:01:00.001-05:00

It is officially 15 days til my birthday and if you know me, I don't just celebrate my birthday, I celebrate my birth MONTH! And this year I'm behind on the planning! I need suggestions for activities... Last year, I went Indoor Skydiving! I need something just as fun and exciting to do this year that I haven't done before. I've already had one fun, new activity and it was great!(yes, even BEFORE October got here!) Thanks Boo! ;)I think the best part was who I got to share the experience with. A truly amazing and special person whom I'm grateful to have in my life. So, I need you guys (if any of you still read this blog) to give me suggestions of things to do. Just leave it in the comments section!

Fantasy Football 2009

2009-09-22T19:31:00.002-05:00

Well, I figured it's about time for a new blog post and since fantasy has started back, might as well start with that. Time to post MVPs for weeks 1 and 2.

Week 1 is always a tough week. Its the first game of the season, new team, new players, new competition, and you don't know what to expect. So the fact that we won I feel like the whole team deserves a recognition. I had alot of breakout stars and some, not so good starts, but overall, the team seems to be pretty solid. We'll work it out! However, since I have to award an MVP, week 1 will go to my defense, the Eagles DEF. Thanks to their efforts against the Panthers (and Jake Delhomme's cluelessness), they racked up 5 sacks, 5 interceptions, 2 fumble recoveries, and 2 TDs while allowing only 10 scoring points for the Panthers. This earned them 37 fantasy points and my week 1 MVP award!

Week 2 was not so good for me. We lost! And that's not something that occurs alot. But like I said, new team, new season, expanded league, so new competition. I still want to award an MVP though. B/c one player put it down for us Monday night and tried to help us come back from a 25pt deficit after Sundays games. He earned 21.20 fantasy points with his 24 rushing attempts for 136 yards and 2 TDs bringing us within 3 pts of our opponent. So week 2 MVP goes to Miami running back and one of my fave running backs Ronnie Brown!

So, the fantasy team is 1-1... for now!

My Five Year Plan

2009-05-27T21:27:00.000-05:00

So, this is something I established back at the beginning of this year. I did this because since high school people would always ask, "What's your plans for the future?" and my answer would always be "To finish college and become a PA". It became my default answer so that I really didn't have to think about making plans for the future. Everything I did up until that point was in some way, shape, or form related to achieving that one goal. As of August 8th, 2008, the day I officially received my PA degree, that statement was no longer valid. And when people asked, now what's your plans for the future? I had to scramble for an answer. I had never thought about what I would do after becoming a PA. I'd always assumed I'd figure something else out by then. So my quick response was "Get a job and start working!" Though I started working in December of 2008, my "official" start date and the day I actually could say, "I'm a practicing Certified Physician Assistant" happened on January 26th, 2009. As happy and excited as I was ( and a little scared), I realized, I no longer have this "plan" for my life. Now that I've made it this far, what do I do? I happened to stumble across the following quotes and it got me to thinking...

"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach." --Benjamin Mays

"By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands — your own." --Mark Victor Hansen

"In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are."
--Arnold H. Glasgow

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals."
--Sydney Smith

"If you're bored with life -- you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things -- you don't have enough goals."
--Lou Holtz

"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score."
--Bill Copeland

"You can't hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can't catch a fish unless you put your line in the water. You can't reach your goals if you don't try."
--Kathy Seligman

"The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going." --Ralph Waldo Emereson

"The unfortunate aspect about living life without your own goals is that you may very well reach a point in your life where you will wonder, 'what would have happened if I had only done..."
--Catherine Pulsifer

After reading I decided I would make a set of short term (5yr) goals and long-term (10yr+) goals in order to help give my life some direction.

Though this list was established back in January, I felt like telling someone and making them public made them more real and that it would motivate me to begin working towards these goals. So that 5yrs from now, I can say "I reached another goal and milestone in my life." So in no particular order of importance, my 5 yr goals (to be completed by the end of 2013) consists of these five things:

Though, my PA degree program was a professional program and the work as challenging as the Master's level programs, at the time my school was not offering master's degrees in my field of study. (That has since changed, they now offer a master's level degree); Though I completed the extra post-graduate study, on paper I can't "technically" claim to have a graduate level degree. This is something that is important to me and something I've always wanted. My dad went back to school to receive his master's (MBA) while I was in middle school. I remember cause I typed up all his papers! :) He was so excited and proud and I wanted to be just like him (scary huh?!), and I wanted him to be just as proud of me as I was of him. This is the inspiration behind goal number 1.

Goal #1- To obtain my Master's Degree

As I was growing up, going to church was a big part of my life. And I remember being real active in sunday school, the youth group, usher board, and the youth choir. After going away for college (Twice!), I got out of the habit of attending church regularly and being an ACTIVE member of my church community. *makes shameful face* So, now that I'm back and have settled in to my new life, career, etc. I feel I should get back to that more active role I had in serving God, spreading His word, and working in His will. And this I feel goes beyond the "church" environment and out into the community. It's only right to help another realize their dreams and to support them in their journey. Therefore, serving in the community is just as important. This brings about goal number 2

Goal #2- To be an active member of both my church community as well as my residential community. (that is the Charlotte/Metro area, not just my subdvision!)

As a health care provider, I teach people how to be healthy and lead active lifestyles in order to extend their quality (and sometimes length) of life; however I can't help but think of the old saying, "Look at the pot calling the kettle black". I try to make healthy decisions and be active when I can, but in all honesty, that doesn't happen very much. I use all the excuses my patient's give me, "I don't have time to exercise", "Work is too exhausting to do anything else", and "I don't have time to plan healthy meals and cook". So, in an effort to "practice what I preach", I came up with goal number 3

Goal #3- To establish a regular exercise regimen and healthy lifestyle.

This next goal is a biggie. I've gone back and forth debating this for sometime now. Commitment is definitely not my strong suit. But for the last 9 and 1/2 years since I moved out of my parent's house, I have moved in and out of 5 dorm rooms and 4 apartments. I'm currently staying in my 5th apartment. And if there's one thing I've learned during all that time its... I really hate moving!!! Though I've become quite the expert, I really just want some consistency in my life. I've moved about every 13 months and it never gets any easier. I would really like to just be somewhere and stay! (Plus, its a great investment and tax credit being single!) So that's the story behind goal number 4

Goal #4- To buy my own house! (Still a little scared about this one)

The last goal is a bit ambitious. But, you can't just set easy goals... cause what would be the point?! The more ambitious the goal, the more rewarding the feeling of accomplishment is! And if you know me, you know the one thing I hate the most when it comes to money is owing somebody! I absolutely hate it! I hate debt! This is the reason why I know only own 3 credit cards, 2 of which are completely paid off and one is only for emergencies! (like that $551 DEA registration bill I just paid!) Anyhoo... if there's anything I see in a store or whereever that I want, I pay cash (well okay, debit!), but I don't do credit. If I can't afford it, then I won't have it! So that brings about my crazy goal number 5

Goal #5- To pay off all my undergraduate and graduate/professional school loans! (I realize this is generally a 10yr+ thing to do, but I wanna get it done in 5!)

So, there you have it, my 5 year plan. Notice there were no "fall in love by", "get married by", or "have a baby" type goals on here. One, because those things I can't control anyway. And if there's any lesson I've learned in my 26 and 1/2 yrs of being on this planet... "Stop worrying and trying to control things you can't control, because the burden will eat you alive" (not literally, or at least I hope not! :)) Anyhoo... those are things that will happen in God's timing and whether they happen in His 5yr plan for me, we shall see. My goals for myself are meant to be personal goals and will all help me to achieve and grow as a person.

I have started a 10yr and lifetime goal list... but that's too much too soon and this post is already long enough! So pray for me and keep me encouraged and I'll try and update on my progress!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2009-01-01T11:59:00.000-05:00

Here's wishing everyone a safe and happy 2009!!!

I'm a slacker!

2008-12-28T23:38:00.003-05:00

I have totally neglected my blog... [And its not because I haven't had plenty to discuss!]. But I have been so busy [and tired] lately. But I guess that is no excuse, so I'm gonna do better! Stay tuned because updates are soon to come!

Do You Shop Online?

2008-11-10T15:01:00.004-05:00

If so, you should shop thru this link and help me earn money to pay for college! It's an easy gift. When you shop online to buy your other holiday gifts or something for yourself, a percentage of what you spend will be donated to my college fund via UPromise & Sallie Mae. Its like giving 2 gifts for the price of one! With this economy, who doesn't love that?!

http://www.upromise.com/guest/2268195951

Thanks for your help!

Playing Catch Up...

2008-11-10T13:12:00.003-05:00

So, its been a minute since I posted and I have fallen behind on my Fantasy MVP postings. So here's week 5 thru week 9...

Week 5: Atlanta's Roddy White w/ 132 receiving yds & 1 td for a total of 14.60 fantasy points.

Week 6: Jacksonville's Maurice Jones-Drew w/ 125 rushing yds, 23 receiving yds, 18 return yds, & 2 tds for a total of 22.55 fantasy points.

Week 7: Houston's Steve Slaton w/ 80 rushing yds, 9 receiving yds, & 1 td for a total of 12.90 fantasy points.

Week 8: Again, Atlanta's Roddy White w/ 113 receiving yds, 2 tds, & a solo tackle for a total of 20.40 fantasy points.

Week 9: NYJ's Thomas Jones w/ 69 rushing yds, 38 receiving yds, & 1 td for a total of 14.05 fantasy points.

...Thanks to all my players, we are now 7-1-0 as of week 9!

Stop Whining!

2008-10-13T22:32:00.006-05:00

Why do the cowboys act like they are the 1st team to lose their QB? Hello, did we forget about Tom Brady? So what, cause they're "America's team" where suppose to feel sorry for them?! WHATEVER!!! ...Please stop whining!

Fantasy Football: Week 4 MVP

2008-10-05T14:04:00.000-05:00

This week's MVP award goes to my kicker...

Josh Scobee

Scobee, who not only serves as the kicker for my fantasy team, is the starting kicker for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Last week he kicked 3 field goals; 37, 40, & 46 yds. His 37 yarder came in overtime as it became the game winning kick in the Jaguars 30-27 win over the Texans. His three field goals along with his 3 successful extra point attempts earned him 14 fantasy points and this weeks fantasy MVP as my team, 'The Go Gettas!', improved to a 3-0-0 record! Go us! lol

WaHoo!!!

2008-10-03T22:05:00.000-05:00

So I just checked my credit score... which I encourage everyone to do, since small mistakes or charges can significantly impact your life (plus its free!) ...and I found out that (as the car insurance commercial would say) "I'm covered!" Even with all my school loans, I'm okay. Not that I'm trying to purchase a home anytime soon, but it's good to know that if I wanted to, I actually could! Despite the cutbacks and chaos going on in the current economy.

Side note: If you would like to know how to go about checking your credit score, hit me up and I can show you!

Lady In Blue

2008-10-02T17:28:00.000-05:00

"...One thing I don't need
is any more apologies
I got sorry greeting me at my front door
you can keep yours
I don't know what to do wit'em
they don't open doors
or bring the sun back
they don't make me happy
or get a morning paper
didn't nobody stop using my tears to wash cars
cuz of sorry

I am simply tired
of collecting
I didn't know
I was so important to you
I'm gonna have to throw some away
I can't get to the clothes in my closet
For all the sorries
I'm gonna tack a sign to my door
leave a message by the phone
'if you called
to say your sorry
call somebody else
I don't use 'em anymore'
I let sorry, didn't mean to, & how could I know about that
take a walk down a dark & musty street in Brooklyn
I'm gonna do exactly what i want to
& I wont be sorry for none of it
Letta sorry soothe your soul, I'm gonna soothe mine

You were always inconsistent
doing something & then being sorry
beating my heart to death
talking about you sorry
Well, I will not call
I'm not going to be nice
I will raise my voice
& scream & holler
& break things & race the engine
& tell all your secrets about yourself to your face
& I will list in detail everyone of my wonderful lovers
& their ways
I will play oliver lake, loud
& I wont be sorry for none of it

I loved you on purpose
I was open on purpose
I still crave vulnerability & close talk
& I'm not even sorry bout you being sorry
you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna
just don't give it to me
I cant use another sorry
next time
you should admit
you're mean, low down, triflin', & no count straight out
steada being sorry all the time
enjoy being yourself..."

This is one of my favorite monologues from the choreopoem "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow is Enuf" by Ntozake Shange

Check that out Tweezie, I'm expanding my boundaries!

TRUE LIFE: I'm Human

2008-10-01T15:51:00.000-05:00

So, I'm tired of being told by everybody that I need to stop holding everything in. That at some point if you don't let it ALL out, its gonna kill you. Its already created a battle in my mind & thoughts and is starting to spill over into my emotions, affecting my everyday life. So, I've decided to let it out...

1- I spent the weekend (at my grandma's request) at my church's "family friends fun day", yet it wasn't so fun for me. I feel like I've been away and out of touch so long that I don't really know anybody there. Those that attended when I was growing up have since moved on and those there now, I really just don't know; (but would really like to get to know) So, it makes it hard to get involved as much as I want to b/c i'm afraid to go at it alone. But I promise myself right now, I will give it more of an effort.

2- I also spent some time this weekend at the Forsyth County Jail, well, the lobby as my grandma and great aunt went to visit my uncle in the infirmary. He has really bad pneumonia (which was a result of being locked up) and I feel bad that he does but believe that its his fault for getting himself in that situation. This has been a re-occurring theme in my family with him for a LONG time now. At some point you get fed up and say enough is enough! And you want to just forget about him and go on with your life. Does that make me wrong for thinking that?

3- I'm afraid of Love, ...well, not love, just the wrong love. I want as much as the next person to find someone that I truly love, care about, and want to spend the rest of my life with. But in the process of finding that "one", I end up cheating myself, hurting them, and possibly losing out on a bunch of great relationships & friendships all because I'm afraid (there's that word again) that its not "the right person". So I don't allow myself to really get close to them and really know them. I say I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect, but sadly I think I really am. I say I want someone that shares my spiritual beliefs (b/c how can a man lead his household if he has no relationship with God?) and someone who shares my level of intelligence. This one is big for me... b/c sometimes I feel like I'm "too smart" for some of the guys I've dated. I think thats a terrible thought to have, but I have them. I mean don't get me wrong I'm no genius and i don't expect him to be, but isn't it imperative for him to have the skills to provide for his family? An education (nothing against country grammar, but can you talk the talk of corporate america (i.e. a complete grammatically correct sentence?), A steady job with benefits (insurance at minimum because an accident can change your whole life in a second... belief me, i know.), A decent credit score (b/c without it you can't get anything in this country... watched the news lately?), and just a general sense of what it takes to make it in the world (demonstrated by you being able to take care of yourself on your own consistently). Maybe I just expect too much, b/c much is expected of me... sigh :/

4- I've become lazy. I told my mama yesterday that something was wrong with me. That I use to do it all in high school/part of college... but now, I do nothing. I'm not as involved. I'm not as athletic/active. I don't do the hobbies I use to enjoy. Is it my illness? Is that what happens with age? You just push to 25 and then digress. There are so many things I wish I could do. I want to do. I need to do. But I don't because I'm afraid of failing. (I think) Since I was young people have been proud of me. Told me that I'm gonna be successful. That they expect nothing but great things from me. That's a lot of weight to carry around. No where along the way did anybody say I love that you tried and its okay that you messed up. That you didn't make the cut. That next time you'll get it right. So, today I'm promising myself something else... I'm gonna go out and "do" and attempt to be great. But if I leap and fall, I pray that there's somebody there to help me up, scrape the dirt off my knees, and say nice try, offer me advice, and tell me to go again.

5- I miss my father. I think about him often. What life would be like if he was still around. I want to say I'm sorry. Even though there were times when he hurt me, I know I hurt him too. And there's nothing I can do to really make it right. And yes Sherrell, Christina's song is exactly how I feel and thats why I like it.

6- I'm scared for my mama. Her lifestyle is affecting her health. She has high blood pressure and metabolic syndrome. And honestly is headed straight for a life with type 2 diabetes. I really don't want that for her. But I don't know what else I can do to stress the importance for her to take control of her health and change her eating habits and find an exercise regime. Anything! I feel like she's all I got but if she doesn't decide that she wants to change, then she wont be around long. And I don't think I can live without her.

7- My life is driven by fear. It's been the most consistent thing through each of these confessions.

More Fantasy Football...

2008-09-28T18:34:00.000-05:00

Its that time again! To announce my fantasy team's week 3 MVP. This week is a combination MVP. These 2 are considered different players as far as the team scoring goes, but in reality they are one force and that's why this week's MVP award goes to...

Cortland Finnegan & the Tennessee Titans Defense

Tennessee Titans cornerback & fellow North Carolina native Cortland Finnegan had 6 total tackles [3 solo], 2 pass def, & a 99yd interception return to score his 1st career TD. His efforts earned him 14 fantasy points & with his fellow Titans defensive line who collectively racked up 1 forced fumble, 3 sacks, 3 interceptions [one of which was Finnegan's TD return] while holding Houston to only 12 points adding 21 additional fantasy points to my team greatly contributed to our win. So congrats to him, the Titans defense, & my whole fantasy team on the win... we are 2-0-0!!!

Oh, and side note, if it were up to me I'd give Cortland 3 bonus points for being such a cutie! He makes watching the games extra easy on the eyes ;-) ...I'm just saying! [If anybody knows him, tell'em I said that!]

Fantasy Football...

2008-09-21T15:34:00.005-05:00

Yes, I am a girl and I love fantasy football!!! Its the only way to get me into pro sports cause i'm more of a college sport fan. (GO HEELS!!!) But anyhoo... Last year I joined a league with my friends and I had sooo much fun! I think its b/c I'm real competitive in nature and competition, strategy, & luck is what FF is all about. Last year I placed 1st out of 12 teams... so yes, that means "We Are The Champions, We Are The Champions!" haha... So last year I posted a weekly team MVP for my team 'Tha Go Gettas!' via my Aol IM buddy info section & since now I am rarely on IM anymore, I decided to just use my blog to post my team's weekly MVP. [This is what happens when you have to wait up to 4 mos for the licensing board to allow you to work] ... Anyhoo, since we started week 2, there is no week 1 MVP, duh! But my week 2 MVP is....

Patrick Willis

The SF 49'ers defensive lineman had 8 solo tackles, 1 pass def, & an interception that was returned 86yds for a TD! His efforts earned him 16 fantasy points [based on my league's scoring criteria] & this weeks MVP! And he did it all in only 3 quarters!!! [He left during the 3rd quarter due to an injury & did not return to play]. So congrats go to him and the team on the win... we are 1-0-0!!!

Today, It Is Offcial!

2008-09-11T10:33:00.003-05:00

Most people will remember this day as a tragic one. After all, it is the 7th anniversary of the awful event that happened at the World Trade Center, but for me, however, it will now be bittersweet... today I am officially a PA-C! And clearly all the honor and the praise goes to God. Cause there's no way I could have done this without HIM!

Oh, and don't think it stops here... this is ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!

Never Would Have Made It

2008-08-08T13:25:00.002-05:00

Awww...

2008-07-27T14:36:00.008-05:00

Thank you all for the love, support, encouragement, flowers, & reminders!

"...I’m pressed, but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed,
I am blessed beyond the curse,
For his promise will endure,
That His joy’s gonna be my strength..."
[From Israel & New Breed's 'Trading My Sorrows']

God...

2008-07-21T18:43:00.002-05:00

I hurt. I'm frustrated. I'm confused. I'm lost. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm alone. I'm weak. I'm scared.

Four Years Later

2008-07-05T21:25:00.004-05:00

Well,... today is the 4 year mark since "the accident". It's crazy... It doesn't seem like its been that long, but yet sooo much has changed since then. I can remember the last time I saw him. May 9, 2004. It was at my graduation from Carolina. He was so happy and so proud. He had a grin from ear to ear. Everybody was so happy and I felt great... Now there's nothing left but memories, shoulda's, coulda's, & woulda's. I can't help but to think how things would be today if he were here. Sometimes I wish I could just spend one more day with him. So I can catch him up and show him all that I've done, all that has happened, and tell him how much I really loved and cared about him. But I tear up everytime I think about it, cause I know it'll never happen... all because on July 5th, 2004 he was merely at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Me vs. Banana Republic

2008-06-22T14:26:00.005-05:00

So, Since I haven't been on here in awhile, I really wanted to blog today but I couldn't think of anything to talk about. So I'll just talk about my shopping experience this weekend. I don't know if you can call what I've been doing the last 2 years shopping, seeing as how I don't have a 'job' that actually pays money... in fact, since this is technically still school, I'm paying them to let me work! But anyhoo... I cant stay away from the mall, money or not, so I usually go looking for stuff that 'I'm gonna get' when I can finally afford to. And I stay on the clearance racks... its all apart of my "Ballin' on a Budget" plan! However, since graduation is approaching and so is the time to start looking for jobs, I went looking for an interview suit. As I was looking in BR I came across a cute pair of dress pants. I tried them on and they fit perfectly! I checked the price and low and behold, it was ACTUALLY in my price range! They were regular $128.00, but I got them on clearance for $19.97! Now thats what I call a bargain!

Me -1, Banana Republic -0. Yeah!!! ... Who's next?!??????

So... How Do I Look?

2008-06-03T09:39:00.004-05:00

So it's been a good minute since I posted up here. I wanted to post, but I couldn't think of anything to write about. There's a lot going on in my life right now... a very big transition being the main thing. But with everything changing, I still didn't think any of it was worth talking about just yet. So, I decided to add to my ever changing surroundings and change up my blog. I was going through my archives and realized I have had this blog going for almost 3 years now. Crazy huh? So, I thought it was time for a new look. So, ....do you like???

Thoughts?

2008-04-23T18:24:00.003-05:00

"The way to know if you should keep someone in your life is to stop doing all the things you do to maintain a friendship or a relationship with that person. Those that are real or are genuine will notice and make an effort to correct wrongs; those that don't - don't matter."

I read this quote on my cousin's blog and it got me to thinking. Sometimes I do feel like some of my friendships or relationships are one-sided. Like I am doing all the work to keep it going. Its frustrating at times and sometimes I question if its even worth it? But then I start to think, if I stop caring, am I wrong? Is that rude or 'un-Christian' like of me? Is it so wrong to want people to hit you up (call, text, email, postal mail, shoot whatever) and let you know that they love, miss, or care about you without you having to prompt it?

...Let me know what you think?

I need your help!

2008-03-11T20:49:00.003-05:00

I have always had a problem with trying to control everything, holding on to things, & worrying about things I can't control. I try to let go and I tell myself to forget about it and that works for a while, but then I get frustrated all over again and I start back. I can't seem to break the cycle. I need help figuring out how to let go, permanently.... Any Advice?

I Told You So...

2008-01-03T20:55:00.000-05:00

What you ask?... Let's take it from the beginning. On December 31st, 2007 at around 7pm, I was an emotional wreck; I was worried about things I couldn't control, was upset at being let down,... you name it, I felt it that night! I received a couple of calls that night from people who were concerned about me spending my new years alone and feeling the way I was. One in particular, the caller shall remain nameless for privacy purposes (lol, you know who you are), really helped my mood. They were willing to give up their new years plans to come be with me despite my sh*tty mood. The longer I was on the phone, the better I started to feel, until they finally convinced me not to stay home alone. Despite what I was feeling I went ahead and went out. I arrived at my destination not knowing what to expect at about 10:30pm. At around 11:15pm something happened. I just all of a sudden felt different. Something had changed, but I wasn't sure what it was. But all that I was feeling, all that I was worrying and stressing over, and all that that was currently weighing me down, all lifted and seemed to fade away. I didn't know what to think about what happened. For some reason, my mind became clear and free of nonsense clutter and so went all my worry, stress, and unhappiness. I ended up bringing in the new year laughing, playing Wii (side note: I'm definitely investing in one of these!), and having a ton of fun with some family and friends. That night (or I guess that would be day) when I got back home I slept more peaceful than I had in a long while. Throughout that day, my spirits were still high, despite the fact I was about to leave it all and return back here to VA to start this semester of rotations. On the way back home, I had a chance to spend some time talking to God and thanking him for this new year and all he has done for me thus far despite of myself and the fact that I haven't always done what I should. The more I talked to him, the better I felt and the more clarity I gained of my current life situations and that the best way to deal with them, was to not... but to let it go and let him do what he does. When I got back and unpacked, I started to check emails, read blogs, etc etc. on my computer. I also ended up putting up an away msg on AIM that read "2008 is definitely going to be an interesting year!" ... And boy has it!!!

My year so far...
Jan 1- Had to scramble to find a last minute housing option for the month of January [as to not be forced to live on the street] since my program decided to change things up a bit!... So basically, day 1 of the year and I'm now HOMELESS!

Jan 2- Had to wake up early and go to work in 12 degree weather to start my Jan rotation... all in the name of Internal Medicine. But by the time I got home, I was so tired and cold, that I had my first Sickle Cell pain crisis of the new year (yes, already!) and was about 30 minutes and 2 Lortabs away from going back to the hospital... this time in the name of Emergency Medicine!

Jan 3- Had to wake up early again (5:30am) in ridiculously cold weather to attend morning rounds like a good student. By 4:00pm I was exhausted and ready to get home to take a nap. Finally some rest and relief!.... NOT!!! Because on the way home some stupid heffa in a red Mazda decided it was a good day to RAM/CRASH/BANG into the back of my new Maxima! Not only do I now need an oil change... I could use a new bumper! Thanks!

Jan 4- I'm really kinda scared to find out honestly.

But despite it all... I'm still able to let go of what I cant control and to get it done with what I can. All I can say is... I told you so!

Happy 2008 Everybody!!!

2008-01-01T22:23:00.000-05:00

That is all...

Just A Reminder... In Case You Forgot!

2007-12-16T08:56:00.000-05:00

It's less than 10 days before Christmas. Many people are rushing to do last minute shopping, college students stressing over final exams, holiday travel conditions are worrisome and bothersome, the weather is iffy, and emotions are running wild. This time of year is suppose to be a "happy time" when you spend time with your family and celebrate the birth of Christ; Yet many people have a very different view of Christmas. Some have loved ones who live far away or have passed and are saddened to not have the opportunity to spend this time with them. Some people are worried about financial problems and going into debt trying to provide a good Christmas for their family and children. And yet others don't even have the luxury of thinking those thoughts. Some don't even have homes, families, jobs, etc. and are just hoping to make it thru this season and may be relying on the kindness of strangers. No matter where you stand in this "wintry mix", just remember that there's ONE person you can ALWAYS call, who's NEVER too busy [or caught up in the commercialization] to help see you through...

God’s Emergency Phone Numbers

When in sorrow, ............................	call John 14.
When men fail you,........................	call Psalm 27.
If you want to be fruitful, ............	call John 15.
When you have sinned, ................	call Psalm 51.
When you worry,...........................	call Matthew 6:19-34.
When you are in danger,..............	call Psalm 91.
When God seems far away,..........	call Psalm 139.
When your faith needs stirring,...	call Hebrews 11.
When you are lonely and fearful, .....	call Psalm 23.
When you grow bitter and critical,.....	call I Corinthians 13.
For Paul's secret to happiness,.........	call Colossians 3:12-17.
For understanding of Christianity, .....	call II Corinthians 5:15-19.
When you feel down and out, ...........	call Romans 8:31-39.
When you want peace and rest, .........	call Matthew 11:25-30.
When the world seems bigger than God,	call Psalm 90.
When you want Christian assurance,...	call Romans 8:1-30.
When you leave home for labor or travel,	call Psalm 121.
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish,	call Psalm 67.
For a great invention/opportunity,.......	call Isaiah 55.
When you want courage for a task,.......	call Joshua 1.
For how to get along with fellow men,....	call Romans 12.
When you think of investments & returns,	call Mark 10.
If you are depressed,...................	call Psalm 27.
If your pocketbook is empty, .............	call Psalm 37.
If you are losing confidence in people,	call I Corinthians 13.
If people seem unkind, ............	call John 15.
If discouraged about your work, .......	call Psalm 126.
If you find the world growing small & yourself great, ....................	call Psalm 19.

Alternate numbers:
For dealing with fear,......................	call Psalm 34:7.
For security, ...........................	call Psalm 121:3.
For assurance, ..............................	call Mark 8:35.
For reassurance,...........................	call Psalm 145:18.

***All lines are open 24 hours a day! No Operator assistance is necessary!***

"Call unto me, and I will answer thee,
and show thee great and mighty things,
which thou knowest not."
-Jeremiah 33:3

Have a blessed holiday everybody!

It's December!!!

2007-12-01T09:25:00.000-05:00

And you know what that means... my favorite time of the year! And also the start of Christmas shopping. So for those of you that are scratching your heads and wondering what to get me for Christmas... scratch no further! Let me introduce you to....

Exhibit #1:

misspa08's Wish List by misspa08

Exhibit #2:

Random Stuff I Wouldnt Mind Having :) by misspa08

And... Exhibit #3:

If I Had a Million Dollars by misspa08

Happy Shopping!!! :-)

My Message to the Guys

2007-11-11T20:06:00.000-05:00

For the past 2 weeks I've been doing some orthopedic clinic work at the VA and I've met some very terrific veterans and people in general. I've had the chance to serve the people who so graciously served our country. This experience thus far has been fulfilling, yet frustrating; but there are a few things I've noticed and would like to pass on to the guys...

#1: Health is important. As much as you hate to admit when you hurt or when your sick; and no matter how much you hate to go see the doctor... you need to go! Waiting til you fall apart trying to seek help is not going to help you.... Believe me!

#2: It's okay NOT to be tough ALL the time. For the last 2 weeks I've been helping to give knee injections at the VA ortho clinic and most of the patients are guys. It's funny to see and hear their reactions when its time to bring out the needle. Some tough it out and pretend it doesn't hurt... I'm sorry but any time a needle is stuck thru your skin especially into your knee joint (not very much cushion there)... its gonna hurt...Stop Frontin'!!! Some admit it hurts but says it wasn't too bad, and then there's the ones who are terrified before you even touch them. The termed 'cry babies' that start to sweat or pass out well before you even get your gloves on. It's funny to see them, but its also very cute. Seeing them have no shame in admitting a little vulnerability is in a way... attractive. So I say to all you guys out there... its OKAY to show emotion. In fact, I [we girls] think its cute!

#3: You know how guys always talk about how soft 'their girls' skin is and how they just love to touch/rub it and like the feel of nice smooth skin...well news flash! Smooth skin is not just for women. What?, you think we want to lay beside you and have your crusty feet and skin scratching us up. Sorry boo, but crustiness it just not a good look. And since I've been working with the guys at the VA., I've seen a ton of crusty feet and ashy legs. And don't for a second think that lighter skinned people are excused, b/c I've seen some seriously ashy legs on those of lighter skin. So, my advice to men of ALL colors... STOP BOYCOTTING THE LOTION!!!

All Tried Out

2007-11-05T19:39:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhhhh.... why does it seem like the harder I try the harder it is to please... to be appreciated... to just plain 'get it right'. I have always tried to be 'good'. I was raised in the church where they teach you to honor thy father and mother, to respect your elders, and how obedience is better than sacrifice, blah blah blah etc etc etc. And I've always tried to do that. I have traded in and past up 'things' that I wanted to do, because those 'wiser' than me asked me not to, or told me to do otherwise. I'm the one in my family that went to school, that made good grades, that graduated from high school with honors, went to the prestigious university, and am now in grad school working towards more. I am 25 with no kids, no credit card debt, paying my own bills with my own money, and not having to ask anybody for help. As a matter of fact, i'm like the new 'go to' when other people need help. I have an older brother, so I learned from his f*** ups what to and not to do. I never really got a chance to 'mess up' or be 'irresponsible' cause more was expected of me. I knew that and that's why I wouldn't let myself succumb to such things. Don't get me wrong... I know I'm not perfect, but why come I try to do all that I can, and its still not appreciated. No matter how much I do 'do right' for some reason, its never enough. Somebody somewhere finds something that I should or shouldn't be doing, accusing me of not doing what I am and doing what I'm not. I don't disrespect them and tell them what they may or may not be doing wrong, so what gives them the right to treat me that way? Like at this point, I'm so tired of trying. I've tried all my life to make other people 'proud' of me or respect me, but do they really respect me if they keep treating me like this? Like let's keep in mind that I am human, just like them. And sometimes, you just don't feel like doing what they want to do every time they want to do it... and why should I?!? Can I not just be ME??? Is that not enough? Honestly... right now, I don't care. I'm tired! I'm soooooo tired of trying. Trying to please, trying to pretend like stuff doesn't bother me, tired of not being appreciated for who I am and what I do. I'm done! I'm so done trying! You have TWO options... accept me 'flaws and all' or leave me the h*** alone! So, go ahead... pick one!

Where Did All The Time Go?

2007-10-31T19:58:00.000-05:00

Wow... its been almost 4 months since I last posted. Hard to believe that much time has passed. Man, so much has happened, I don't even know where to start. Let's see... when I left off I was just about to begin rotations. Now I've successfully completed 4 of them... FOUR! What have I learned? tons! For starters... I know I don't want to work in emergency medicine. Maybe it's because it was my first and I was nervous as h***, but I don't think its for me. I cant explain why... I just know. Anyhoo... next I did psychiatry. I just knew going into it I was going to be miserable for a whole month, but it turns out, I LOVED it! Working with Dr. Hartman was great. He is such a sweetheart and an inspiration! For those that don't know... he's one of the few totally blind physicians that are currently in practice. He's amazing! Next I did community health medicine and well... that's a story for another day. Imma refer you to Molly if you want the details on that one. Just know I had to put a certain professor in their place! I just finished up family practice and so far its the only place I can halfway see myself working. I'm not totally convinced, but it made an impression. I learned soooo much. Shout outs to Kristy and Mia for a great rotation. It was the first time since I started school that I felt like I belonged here [in this field]. Considering the price and the sacrifices... that's definitely a good look!

Enough about 'school'... time to talk personal ish. So... Life is hard! That about sums it up. And its not getting any easier. The older you get, I feel like the harder it becomes. Seriously! Speaking of older... I just turned 25 yrs old! That's exciting, yet depressing all the same. This is definitely NOT where I pictured myself being at 25. I guess I never really gave it that much thought, but this just wasn't it I know. So I'm setting goals for myself now. By the time I'm thirty, I want to be a home owner, have a successful career +/- successful side hustles (hey... imma need to be making 6 figures, I got expensive taste... thanks mama!), be in a 'serious' relationship (whatever that means, whatever that implies), strengthen my relationship with God (you can never be too close to him... growth is a continuous process), and just plain be happy about it all! I also wouldn't mind doing a little bit of traveling/visiting friends and maybe leave the country a time or two. If anybody has any suggestions or travel agents... hit me up! The next 5 years are going to be dedicated to preparing to live "The Good Life". Its time to go on a living spree!

Whew... this post is getting long; (plus I'm getting tired of typing). So I'll spare you the trouble of listening to me babble on and end this post here. And since I know how much you enjoy reading my thoughts, I'll make sure my next post doesn't take 4 mos to happen. Until then... take care!

It Is Time...

2007-07-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

Well... tomorrow is it! the 1st day of 2nd year and my 1st rotation is emergency medicine. I just pray that i'm not in the ER with my own IV by the end of the day! I'm about 30% excited and 70% scared to death! But on a lighter note, I just got back from vacay!!! Man, all i can say was that it was one heck of a week. What happened you asked? LIFE happened!!! And it was crazy! Some very interesting events. But it was very wonderful. Every minute of it! From "the chase" in Sears, to the pay-per-view special at Chic-fil-a, the 750, the takeover at the bowling alley, the car club at Smithfield, shopping in Raleigh, "plotting" @ the graveyard, chillin' on the beach, doin' it big on the island, driving the truck (and liking it!), catching up with an old friend, moving in a positive direction, seeing the light for what it was, & hanging out with a very special person! Man... I miss those pre-grad school days when I had time to actually live... but thats about to change real soon! Anyhoo... I gotta go get ready for tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Shout Outs: To Megan & Lauran who got married this weekend! And Ada who got engaged! Congrats Ladies!!!

Day 305

2007-06-20T18:04:00.000-05:00

Wow... it has been a looooooooong while since I blogged. Prolly because SCHOOL HAS CONSUMED MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I JUST WANT TO HAVE IT BACK!!!... ok, sorry about that. I lost control for a minute. Anyway, so here I am. Let's see... I have 2 days left of my didactic year of PA school. And it has been one H*^$ of a year!!! So, i'm getting ghost for about a week and then it starts... ROTATIONS! I can say that i'll be happy to get out of that classroom, but at the same time, this scares me more. But, like everything else, I will get thru it. God didn't bring me this far to leave me alone to fail. So I know as long as I have him with me, I'll be fine. Outside of school tho, life's been a little interesting aside from all the boring reading, studying, and power points. (Did I mention I will scream the next time I have to look at another powerpoint presentation!) Anyhoo... I hate that I missed my girlfriend getaway weekend, but I'm glad to know that you all had fun and that I was missed! I appreciate the phone call! I love you girls!!! Anyhoo... now that "tough" part of school is over (according to "them"), I will hopefully have more time to dedicate to my friends and family. I feel like I've neglected you over this past year. So my goals for the upcoming couple of months are too: call my friends more often, see and hang out with NeXuS (thanks to Tash, we have a place and a date, see you there!), talk to my cousins more (who I never get to see unless its under bad circumstances), and hopefully see you in August at the family reunion, and to take some ME time when I go on vacay!!! Anyhoo.. I've rambled enough for today. I"ll be back soon! I promise! (It's another one of my goals!).

Shout Outs: To my classmates for finishing our 1st year and not losing anyone along the way! Keep it tight!

Extraness...

2007-02-04T12:38:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so... I always tell ppl about my friends (NeXuS) and how wonderful they are and how great they are and I just wanted to dedicate this post to them...

Here are my Shout Outs!

1- Congratulations to Tasha and Charles on their engagement! (May God bless your union)

2- Happy Birthdays to Tasha & Will (that 25!) and to Aaron! (January babies)

3- Congratulations to Dana on her promotion!

4- Congratulations to Twilla on her BIG move to LA! (Have me a room ready!)

5- Congratulations to Ty on the new car!!!

6- Congratulations to ALL of yall holdin' down that grad school thing! (believe me, I feel your pain!)

*Keep up the good work and stay Blessed!!!

***Update*** ... This just in... Congratulations to Ronda for being named the ILT (Initially Licensed Teacher) of the Year at Hillside High School!!!

Ya'll betta do the durn thang!!!

Day 168

2007-02-03T19:24:00.000-05:00

Wow... I don't even know where to start, but I know its time for an update. Umm... let's see... school has been very interesting. I missed some time b/c I had an 'episode' and i've been playing catch up since then. The stress level is at an all time high for the class... tempers, attitudes, emotions came out recently and it wasn't very pretty... but ya girl wasn't involved in all that and she's trying to stay as far away from it as possible. I prefer to be drama-free! Anyhoo... but despite it all, God's been with me the whole time and I thank him for it! My focus right now... making it to spring break! 4 weeks to go... I'll keep ya posted as always. (*sidenote: 5 months to rotations! scary!)

Day 146/Christmas Break

2007-01-12T22:28:00.000-05:00

Well... today is day 146. School has been back in for a week now after almost a month of break. It's been kind of hard coming back and getting back into the swing of things... but I'm making it! I'm actually a little more excited about school and life in general. God has done so much for me and blessed me and He has changed my perception on a lot of things that were not exactly clear to me before. I'm excited about what is to come. On another note... My christmas break was the BEST ever!!! It started out a little rocky (remind me to stay as far away from Laurinburg as possible!!!), but it turned out to be great! Spending Christmas with my family, eating, playing, living, laughing, and loving each other was wonderful. We had stopped getting together like that and i'm sooooo glad we got that together! It was wonderful. And I am the reigning "Christmas Games" champ! (what you know about that?!)... Then spending New Years with the crew at Twill's was off the chain. (Though I didnt think 12am would ever get there... it was a struggle!) But it was good to see everybody and catch up! I also got to spend some time with the cousins and extended family in Durham county for the remainder of my break. And I even made a couple new friends! Overall... I had a wonderful time and loved every moment I spent with those I spent it with ;) ... Thanks everybody that made that possible!!! Ok... now I gotta get back to studying... Laters!

Day 116

2006-12-13T21:32:00.000-05:00

Today was officially the last day of class for this 1st semester! Yay!

10 Things I Hate About You

2006-11-08T20:10:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this post is probably wrong on sooooooo many levels, but... I need a venting session!

*Disclaimer: I am in no way promoting hate. The bible says to "love thy neighbour as thyself" ... and since I loves me some me, I got to at least get along with my neighbors :) (ok, yeah, so I know that was wrong!) But forreal, I don't hate anybody... I just hate their ACTIONS! Anyhoo... back to the point of the post. This is a list of some things I hate (or dislike if you prefer that better)...

10- I hate peaches… absolutely hate them… the taste, peach-flavored food (i.e. candy, ice cream, etc.) …even the scent! It makes me gag.

9- I hate Dodge Neons... long story... just know I HATE those things! Freakin tonka cars!

8- I hate it when people's cell phones go off in class/church and they wanna look around and fake like its not theirs... YALL KNOW YALL WRONG! If you forget to turn it off, at least stop the ringing!

7- I hate when a car waits until you are right up on them and pulls out in front of you, and goes 2 freakin’ miles per hour! Hate it!

6- I hate it when… and this is BAD in VA… drivers STOP on the on-ramp to merge onto the interstate… Hello?!?... we are getting on the IN-TER-STATE!

5- I hate bugs, spiders, bugs, ants, bugs, snakes, rats, and did I mention BUGS?!

4- I hate it when people take their kids to somebody else’s house or to a public place and let them just run wild, tearin’ mess up… this is not your house… please handle that!

3- I hate it when somebody says they are gonna call and don’t OR when they tell you to call them at a certain time, and it goes straight to voicemail on the 1st ring!!! (at least have the phone on… that whole "it died" thing, …DIED! (they included the charger for a reason… please stop neglecting it!)

2- I hate it when “supposedly” grown people act CHILDISH. If I did it in junior high, you should NOT be doing it now at 21+ (emphasis on the plus!)

AND the #1 thing I hate the most is … A LIAR!!! …Is the truth really that hard?!

Now... let's make this thing INTERACTIVE!!! Leave a comment and tell me, what things do you hate (or mildly dislike)?!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

2006-10-18T18:08:00.000-05:00

Here are the pics...

Yes, I had 2 cakes!!!

At the restaurant (Rancho Viejo)...

And finally, the afterparty!!!

Wanna see more?!... Check out the "overdrive" below (see previous post!)

And The Madness Continues...

2006-10-18T18:06:00.000-05:00

I just have two things to say... (1) Ya'll are a trip! and (2) Laura honey, please get down off the futon!

Day 59

2006-10-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yeah.... so it's been a long while huh?! I've been so busy I forgot about the blog. (Thanks Twilla for pointing that out!) Anyhoo... so its day 59 and I'm typing this entry live from class :) ...I know what your thinking, but dang, I don't get free time, so this is just as good. If you were here, you'd understand! It's been a bit of a bumpy road, but I've at least made it this far. (Only by the Grace of God!) I've been dealing with adjusting (yes still!... you try moving to a place that's 3 centuries behind... no offense to my VA ppl... just know its VERY different here than home) and some other personal issues. I'm not going to go into details cause thats not everybody's business, but if your one of my close friends/family, just ask, and we'll talk later. Other than that, things are moving along as much as expected. I do have a few problems with the way some things go down here... certain teachers/professors have a bit of a problem with organization and direction and that %^*# pisses me off! (Sorry, i had to get that out). And since they seem to think they know everyhing, then maybe they read my blog, and if thats the case, and you see something you don't like... well, you know where I spend ~12 hours of each day. Ok, so now that i've made this whole experience so far sound just horrible... it really isn't this bad. There are tons of things I love... especially my new friends/classmates!!! Ya'll are part of what keeps me coming back each day. Thanks you guys! Oh,... and ya'll know I had a birthday last week! Thanks to everybody who wished me a Happy Birthday! (stay tuned... pics from the party coming next post!)... 'til nexttime... God Bless!

Day Twelve

2006-09-01T21:18:00.000-05:00

Umm... yeah, so I made it through the first two weeks, and I'm still here! OK, thats about all the free time I have... ttyl!

Day Two?!

2006-08-22T20:04:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so last night my mom called and asked how my first day was and how I was feeling... My reply?... "I feel like somebody beat me with a potato sack filled with grapefruits." She was like wow... maybe you should go to bed. Things will be better tomorrow. So today I had class from 8am-7pm. I talked to mama about 8:30ish. She asked, how are you feeling today? better? My reply?... "I feel like somebody ran me over with a tractor... twice!" Is this really only the second day?!

Day One

2006-08-21T16:57:00.000-05:00

Wow... that about sums up day one and all the chaos that led up to it. This was the moment that I've been preparing for all of my college life and especially in the last year. It has been non-stop since last Wednesday at orientation,... but today made it official! This two year journey has begun. I thank God that I've made it to this point and I pray that he guides me through it. He has blessed me with the most wonderful support system that I could ask for: My family, Nexus, and all my other close friends. (they know who they are!) You all are truly truly appreciated and I thank you for all you do. The encouragement, the prayers, the thoughtfulness is unbelieveable. I PROMISE I will NOT disappoint!!! Til' next time... Be Blessed!

His Mysterious Ways

2006-06-29T19:18:00.000-05:00

We've all heard the saying, "God works in mysterious ways", well I just wanted to share a testimony, if you will, of a patient in our clinic that shows just how great the Lord can be. *Disclaimer: No names are being used in this post, therefore, no HIPAA violations! (for all those healthcare employees reading ;-). Anyhoo... So I work in the lab at a very large VERY busy physician's office and my boss is constantly getting on us about making sure we get the blood samples in the right racks so that we don't make any mistakes and miss performing any of the ordered tests. Well, lately, we've been battling the problem of our hemoglobin A1C samples (a test used for diabetic patients to test their average blood glucose levels over the past 6-8 weeks) often get placed in our CBC (complete blood count; often used to monitor the number and efficiency of the blood cells in the body) rack. She has been hounding us I know for the past 4 months, because this has been an ongoing problem, and up until the hiring of new employees just 2 weeks ago, we had it pretty much under control and the problem was becoming nonexistent. Well, last week we had a patient to come in and her doctor ordered an Hgb A1c. Wouldn't you know, it got placed in the CBC rack. Before the mix-up was discovered the CBC had alreeady been done. It turns out this lady had a 5 gram hemoglobin. To simplify it for those non-medical people, that means bad. A normal hemoglobin for a woman is between 12 and 15 g/dL. Most people who have a low hemoglobin its only down 1 or 2 grams. Even for me, having sickle cell anemia, my normal hemoglobin is around 8-9, which would have most of yall sick in bed and not able to lift your heads! So 5, especially on someone considered "normal" is definitely NOT good! We being the great laboratorians that we are *smile* notified the patient's doctor and informed her of what we discovered (by mistake). The doctor called the lady back in and asked her if she was experiencing any lightheadedness, fatigue, or bleeding. The lady tells her doctor that she has had some rectal bleeding, but she didnt think it was that serious, so she didnt mention it earlier. The doctor referred the lady to one of our GI (gastrointestinal) physicians for a consult. After a series of tests, the GI Doc discovered that the lady's bleeding was the result of colon cancer! Only by the grace of God, the cancer, which was malignant, had not spread to any other parts of her body. It was caught "just in the nick of time". Which means that it could be treated and "cured" with surgery, which she was scheduled for earlier this week. Now if that doesn't prove that our God is an on time god, then I don't know what will. That lady came in to thank all of us in the lab for saving her life, but I (and I hope she did/does too) just want to thank God for being so wonderful and I hope that this TRUE story can be a testimony and encouragement to you that God can and will see you through all the storms you face and that no matter what your going through he will be right there with you! (End of sermon) *smile*

"Just Trust Me"

2006-06-21T19:08:00.000-05:00

Why do people make it so hard to trust?

Happy Birthday!!!

2006-05-07T17:35:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so, I know its been a good minute since I posted up here. I kinda been a lil on the busy side, but I had to take time out today to celebrate the birthday (or at least the day he came into my life) of one of my babies...

Happy Birthday Maxipoo! (Yes, i'm referring to my maxima)

The "R" Word

2006-02-21T20:28:00.000-05:00

Yep, here it is... the dreaded relationship post. We all say that we're not gonna turn our blogs into some sappy online dating show, but this is whats on my mind and since this is my blog, imma write about it! lol.

Anyway, I was watching 'the Parkers', (yes Sherrell, I was watching the Parkers, but at least it wasn't on BET) anyhoo, we've all watched as Nikki Parker pursues her love interest "the professor". Despite the numerous times he's dodged, dissed, and dismissed her attempts to get his attention, she never gives ups (well, until that last season) Her family and friends would always laugh at her and tell her to give up, he don't want you, and to go find somebody else, but she wouldn't listen. And I know a couple of times some of us have probably yelled at the screen, like "honey, let it go"... But yet how many times have we been in the same situation as Nikki? How many times have we been in a relationship and our significant other just wasn't "that into it" as we were. But yet we insist on "making it work". Or how many of us have had (or still have) these "school girl" crushes on people (and yes, guys can have school girl crushes too!), yet these people don't devote the same energy into us as we to them, and yet we steady pursue them. We've all been guilty of this at some point, myself included! What is it that makes us desire these people so much? For those that have crushes, is it that we see them and think, "that's what I want in a partner", just to get with them and find out it wasn't "the match made in heaven" that you dreamed it to be (for those that actually get to the relationship status) and for those that don't, how do we know that it's really them we want, and not some fantasy of them that we've made up in our mind of what being with them would be like. What do you do once they come around and you've got them and decide it wasn't what you wanted. Do you let them go? And waste all the time and energy you spent trying to get where you are? Do you stay against your will or against what you know is right also because you spent so much energy getting there?

So I leave the blog reading community with some questions...
*We're encourage to set goals and have dreams, but is this really one of those type dreams?
*Is it healthy to put so many emotions and feelings into someone that may or may not know how we feel about them?
*Should we tell our crushes/partners how we feel, or just let the situation work out naturally?
*Do you have any related stories, questions, comments about dealing with crushes or one-sided relationships?

(For those of you that aren't as "quick" as others, this is my attempt at getting you to actually leave feedback and respond to the post, not just read it.)

Disclaimer: (It's sad I have to have a disclaimer, but oh well) This post was not directed to or in reflect of anyone in particular,... just a random, hypothetical situation! :)

Why...

2006-02-17T23:17:00.000-05:00

Wow... it's been a long time since I've wrote anything up here. Let's see what random blog topic I can talk about today.

Hmmm... Well I do have some questions that I would like answered (and of course they involve the most random bunch of people I've ever met... my co-workers!!!) Anyway...

-Guys, why would you keep making appointments at a certain doctor's office, just so you can holla at a girl that works there! And to make it so bad, she works in the lab! (and no i'm not referring to myself). Don't you know that since she works in the LAB, and has to draw your blood for your LAB TESTS, that she's gonna find out WHY you were at the doctor. So what's my point? Why you gonna come in and get what I like to call a "STD panel" (HIV, Hepatitis, Syphillis, etc tests) like every other week! I mean, I understand the first one, your just being concerned, but dang, twice a month is a little much don't you think?! I mean, what signals are you giving out to the girl you trying to talk to? I just want to know... Why?

-As if the last questions wasn't bad enough, why come my co-worker had the nerve to ask him why he didnt tell her he was coming in to the doctor's again today when he called her that morning at 6am. (Umm... 6am??) And she prancing around laughing and thinking it's "cute" that he keeps coming in to "see her". What in the world? Hello? Are you the least bit concerned that he's coming in every two weeks for a different STD test? Are you that much starved for attention? Please somebody tell me... Why?

-You know how there's always that one person at work that moans, groans, and complains about everything that happens, doesnt happen, or whatever. And they always talking about how they hate it there? Like my question to them? Why don't you just stop talking about it and quit?! Leave! Transfer! Like, if you hate your job and everybody there so much, to the point where its making you "sick", then honey, why don't you just leave? Why?

Whew... okay, i'm done. I just don't understand why some people do the things they do, but maybe its just not for me to understand. If anybody can help answer some of these questions, please feel free and feel free to post your own "Why?" questions in the comments section. Maybe somebody out there can explain this to me.

My New Boo...

2006-01-11T22:52:00.000-05:00

Since my friends thought my old boo was old as dirt. (It was Don Cheadle and he's like 41.) I've found a replacement... http://www.giants.com/team/player.asp?player_id=4 . Please dont hate on the new boo!!! (Besides, he has a twin!) :)

Just Check out these links...
http://onlineathens.com/images/021105/14883_512.jpg
http://home.comcast.net/~kschumach/Ronde_and_Tiki_Barber.gif

Guess Who's Bizzack!!!

2006-01-10T19:42:00.000-05:00

Traecie's home! (And looking like a hot mess), but we gonna take a few days and speed this recovery process up. Anyway, i'm glad to have her back cause I was sick of the rent-a-dodge! It was cool at first, but it got to be a pain. No power locks, no power windows, no power steering, basically ...it aint have no power! So welcome home Sentraecia Michelle!

On another note... I just have to ask somebody, what is really goin' on? Like, why was I carded this weekend at the theater tryin to see King Kong?! (Oh, for those of you who are not up on the latest movies... King Kong is rated PG-13!!!)

Welcome 2006!

2006-01-02T19:22:00.000-05:00

Wow... where has time gone. It seems like just last week I graduated college, but that was actually 20 months ago. Man, its 2006 already. What can I really say? Although 2005 went out with a bang (literally... I'll explain in a minute), I definitely welcome the new year. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me this year. And what I can do for him and to lift up his name.

I'm not gonna sit here and do the typically review of 2005, but I can say that a lot of stuff happened in 2005 that has definitely changed my life and my outlook on everything. Yet, I dont regret anything I did or didnt do, because I know everything that happened was for a reason and its only made me stronger in the end. But I did promise you i'd explain the whole "bang". Yeah, so on Friday, December the 30th I was on my way to work as usual. About five minutes from work, I was t-boned at the intersection of N. Mcdowell and E. 7th St. by this huge big Buick of a car. (Yes, I'm aware I said huge and big.) Anyway, so yeah. This was my very first accident that i've been in. Eventhough I was pinned in my car and all I saw was this big silver grill out of my driver side window. I really wasn't scared. I was a lil upset and angry at the situation, but I was fine with it. After all was said and done... the lady that hit me apologized and I told her that it was okay and I wasnt mad at her. Because I feel like being in that accident was a good thing. I'm not sure exactly what it is yet, but i know it was for a reason and I couldn't be mad anymore. I just thank God that i'm okay. And don't worry about traeci, she'll be alright and back in the game in no time. She just needs a lil reconstructive surgery. For those that don't know, Sentraecia or "traeci" (pronounced tree-see) as I call her is my nissan sentra :) . Anyway... I guess I said all that to say this... welcome 2006! Happy New Year everybody!

Please Excuse Me...

2005-10-19T21:02:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I said I wasn't gonna be like those people that put their whole lives in their blogs, but this I just have to share. Just give me a minute to vent and i'll be fine. First off, yall know there is always that one person at your job that you just can't stand. That you secretly just wanna "run into them" outside of work. (Yall know what I'm talkin about) Well, I dont have that one person I gotta about 4 that I could just &*^$%*!!! I try to be a good girl, but I promise you in the back of my head I be like, "let me catch them heifers outside of this place, as Madea says, I will bust'a cap!" Okay, maybe not that drastic, but I will cut a heifer! Man, they suppose to be grown a** women... but all they really are are just old a** girls!!! Whew... okay, i'm through. I just had to get that out. Yall pray for me. Cause as long as I working here, imma need it.

PS. If anybody gets a call from CMPD... please come get me!

That Deuce Tre'!

2005-10-11T21:01:00.000-05:00

Well, let's see... this past saturday I celebrated my 23rd birthday. It was great. I do want to stop here and thank all my family and friends that sent cards, IMs, emails, phone calls, and text messages (although they cost me 10 cents apiece Sherrell!!!) I really do appreciate them and all of you. So, everybody is asking, how does it feel to be 23?! Tha same! However, I can say that I am grateful that God allowed me to experience 23 years of life on this earth. When ppl said I wouldnt make it past my teen years b/c of my "condition", God has showed them he has a different plan for my life!!! So to all those ppl I just want to say, "I'm still standing, I'm still strong!" (from Antwan Fisher) Anyways... I'm looking forward to seeing what 23 has to offer and what God has in store for me in the upcoming years.

*Sidenote: If anybody wants any red velvet cake, I still have a little left! :) (And no its not Harris Teeter, its homemade!)

Wedding Pictures

2005-10-05T23:11:00.000-05:00

Here are the pics from this weekend... (clearly in no particular order)

Congratulations Ronda and Kelvin!!!

A Wonderful Weekend

2005-10-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was great. I got to see my old crew and chill like old times. I haven't had that much fun in a long while. (Prolly since the last time I saw yall) We have got to do that again real soon (jus without that whole wedding thing thrown in there ;) (ya girl is still tired, but I wouldn't have changed a bit of it if I could. I also want to extend a congratulations to Ronda and Kelvin Bullock. May God continue to bless your union. It was also good seeing old classmates and getting a chance to catch up. Those Carolina alumni are doin' it up big! To the newly formed friendships, I hope we keep in touch. Anyway... that's enough rambling from me for tonight. Thanks again Nexus for a great weekend! Stay Blessed!

My First...

2005-09-23T21:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this whole blog thing is new for me, but my bestfriend suggested I give it a try. (you happy now?!) Anyway... so here I am. Obviously, this first post is real short... but there's more to come. Check back soon!