Yep, here it is... the dreaded relationship post. We all say that we're not gonna turn our blogs into some sappy online dating show, but this is whats on my mind and since this is my blog, imma write about it! lol.
Anyway, I was watching 'the Parkers', (yes Sherrell, I was watching the Parkers, but at least it wasn't on BET) anyhoo, we've all watched as Nikki Parker pursues her love interest "the professor". Despite the numerous times he's dodged, dissed, and dismissed her attempts to get his attention, she never gives ups (well, until that last season) Her family and friends would always laugh at her and tell her to give up, he don't want you, and to go find somebody else, but she wouldn't listen. And I know a couple of times some of us have probably yelled at the screen, like "honey, let it go"... But yet how many times have we been in the same situation as Nikki? How many times have we been in a relationship and our significant other just wasn't "that into it" as we were. But yet we insist on "making it work". Or how many of us have had (or still have) these "school girl" crushes on people (and yes, guys can have school girl crushes too!), yet these people don't devote the same energy into us as we to them, and yet we steady pursue them. We've all been guilty of this at some point, myself included! What is it that makes us desire these people so much? For those that have crushes, is it that we see them and think, "that's what I want in a partner", just to get with them and find out it wasn't "the match made in heaven" that you dreamed it to be (for those that actually get to the relationship status) and for those that don't, how do we know that it's really them we want, and not some fantasy of them that we've made up in our mind of what being with them would be like. What do you do once they come around and you've got them and decide it wasn't what you wanted. Do you let them go? And waste all the time and energy you spent trying to get where you are? Do you stay against your will or against what you know is right also because you spent so much energy getting there?
So I leave the blog reading community with some questions...
*We're encourage to set goals and have dreams, but is this really one of those type dreams?
*Is it healthy to put so many emotions and feelings into someone that may or may not know how we feel about them?
*Should we tell our crushes/partners how we feel, or just let the situation work out naturally?
*Do you have any related stories, questions, comments about dealing with crushes or one-sided relationships?
(For those of you that aren't as "quick" as others, this is my attempt at getting you to actually leave feedback and respond to the post, not just read it.)
Disclaimer: (It's sad I have to have a disclaimer, but oh well) This post was not directed to or in reflect of anyone in particular,... just a random, hypothetical situation! :)
About Me
- april*michelle
- Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina, United States
- Currently trying to discover me... this is my place to vent my rants and rambles associated with life!
5 comments:
lol, i'mma write a book on this one but I can't right now because of Track Results at work...
My adivce would be simply to identify very early in the process if you feel like a long term relationship (if that is what you're looking for) can be developed with that person.
Furthermore, make sure you find out exactly what the other person wants. It happens sometimes where someone might be wanting a real, long-term relationship while another person might want a kind of quasi-relationship/friendship hybrid.
Nothing wrong with either, but for that person who wants the long-term relationship holding on to the hybrid might be hurtful to them.
So communication at the beginning of what both people want is very important. There is nothing wrong with explicitly stating "I want this" while the other person saying back "I want this."
Both parties need to know so that expectations are level... if expectations aren't level, it could take one person a long time to get over that person (if they EVER get over them).
Disclaimer: (It's sad I have to have a disclaimer, but oh well) This post was not directed to or in reflect of anyone in particular,... just a random, hypothetical situation! :)
I think it is perfectly acceptable, and maybe even necessary to be honest enough with yourself and your crush to admit how you feel.
However, once you have done so, if the feelings aren't reciprocated you HAVE to move on.
Hanging on to unrequited love is very unattractive and could further decrease any positive feelings said crush might have for you.
i dunno.. my husband and i just let things work out naturally.. so that would be my suggestion.. if u feel as though that special someone doesn't feel the same about u.. move on
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