All Tried Out

Ahhhhhhh.... why does it seem like the harder I try the harder it is to please... to be appreciated... to just plain 'get it right'. I have always tried to be 'good'. I was raised in the church where they teach you to honor thy father and mother, to respect your elders, and how obedience is better than sacrifice, blah blah blah etc etc etc. And I've always tried to do that. I have traded in and past up 'things' that I wanted to do, because those 'wiser' than me asked me not to, or told me to do otherwise. I'm the one in my family that went to school, that made good grades, that graduated from high school with honors, went to the prestigious university, and am now in grad school working towards more. I am 25 with no kids, no credit card debt, paying my own bills with my own money, and not having to ask anybody for help. As a matter of fact, i'm like the new 'go to' when other people need help. I have an older brother, so I learned from his f*** ups what to and not to do. I never really got a chance to 'mess up' or be 'irresponsible' cause more was expected of me. I knew that and that's why I wouldn't let myself succumb to such things. Don't get me wrong... I know I'm not perfect, but why come I try to do all that I can, and its still not appreciated. No matter how much I do 'do right' for some reason, its never enough. Somebody somewhere finds something that I should or shouldn't be doing, accusing me of not doing what I am and doing what I'm not. I don't disrespect them and tell them what they may or may not be doing wrong, so what gives them the right to treat me that way? Like at this point, I'm so tired of trying. I've tried all my life to make other people 'proud' of me or respect me, but do they really respect me if they keep treating me like this? Like let's keep in mind that I am human, just like them. And sometimes, you just don't feel like doing what they want to do every time they want to do it... and why should I?!? Can I not just be ME??? Is that not enough? Honestly... right now, I don't care. I'm tired! I'm soooooo tired of trying. Trying to please, trying to pretend like stuff doesn't bother me, tired of not being appreciated for who I am and what I do. I'm done! I'm so done trying! You have TWO options... accept me 'flaws and all' or leave me the h*** alone! So, go ahead... pick one!