Lady In Blue

"...One thing I don't need
is any more apologies
I got sorry greeting me at my front door
you can keep yours
I don't know what to do wit'em
they don't open doors
or bring the sun back
they don't make me happy
or get a morning paper
didn't nobody stop using my tears to wash cars
cuz of sorry

I am simply tired
of collecting
I didn't know
I was so important to you
I'm gonna have to throw some away
I can't get to the clothes in my closet
For all the sorries
I'm gonna tack a sign to my door
leave a message by the phone
'if you called
to say your sorry
call somebody else
I don't use 'em anymore'
I let sorry, didn't mean to, & how could I know about that
take a walk down a dark & musty street in Brooklyn
I'm gonna do exactly what i want to
& I wont be sorry for none of it
Letta sorry soothe your soul, I'm gonna soothe mine

You were always inconsistent
doing something & then being sorry
beating my heart to death
talking about you sorry
Well, I will not call
I'm not going to be nice
I will raise my voice
& scream & holler
& break things & race the engine
& tell all your secrets about yourself to your face
& I will list in detail everyone of my wonderful lovers
& their ways
I will play oliver lake, loud
& I wont be sorry for none of it

I loved you on purpose
I was open on purpose
I still crave vulnerability & close talk
& I'm not even sorry bout you being sorry
you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna
just don't give it to me
I cant use another sorry
next time
you should admit
you're mean, low down, triflin', & no count straight out
steada being sorry all the time
enjoy being yourself..."


This is one of my favorite monologues from the choreopoem "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow is Enuf" by Ntozake Shange

Check that out Tweezie, I'm expanding my boundaries!